Gillian Monks

'Making Fairytales Come True'

Category: Musings of the Hearth (Page 1 of 8)

‘Careless Talk’

One of my favourite summer harvests – these sweetpeas smell divine!

A few days ago, we celebrated Lammas, (or as some call it, Lughnasa). This is the time of the first main harvest of the year, which are the grains: wheat, rye, oats, etc..

Traditionally, it has always been a time for communities to pause in their busy long-days-of-sunlight summer lives and come together. While the weather is more reasonable, many would travel distances to join with loved ones not often seen during the rest of the year, to feast while food was fresh and plentiful, and to compete in games of strength and skill in an atmosphere of amiable competition. It was a golden opportunity to conduct many business meetings, strike deals, make agreements, reach compromises and understandings, and also celebrate marriages.

On reflection, perhaps we still haven’t moved so very far away from this arrangement, only now we operate at a national or global level, rather than in an intimate local society. The beginning of August is the peak time for people to go away on holiday… there are numerous festivals and events at this time of year, many countries have recently held their political elections, and right now the greatest sporting event on earth is taking place in the form of the Olympic Games in Paris. Think about it. Over all, we are still following the old pattern of behaviour based on the seasons and rhythms of the natural world.

For me personally, it is the opportunity to come together, to catch up, to spend time and to celebrate on-going life… and to talk to one another… to exchange news, chew the fat and discuss the state of the world. Showing an interest in one another is laudable; learning about people from different cultures and with different approaches to life is admirable, but it needs to be done sympathetically in a spirit of genuine kindness and compassion, with a good measure of tolerance and as complete a lack of judgement and bias as possible. It is too easy to learn half (or even a fraction) of a tale and then jump to conclusions, and to react with arrogance from a place of false and ignorant superiority.

While my family and friends gathered under a clear blue sky in the sunshine and deep peace on our land on the far western peninsular of the Llyn, folk in many towns and cities chose to take to the streets to protest and display their displeasure… also their crippling insecurities, frustration and impotence.  Doubtless, they chatted on all the various forms of social media available and used increasingly stirring and inflammatory language as they spurred each other on to turn on their fellow human beings – unwitting and innocent targets – scapegoats on which some deeply damaged and broken members of our society decided to vent their own agony.

For we only tend to be mean or hurtful when we are unhappy or frightened. It is an unfortunate but basic human trait. Something goes wrong in our lives and we frantically cast about for someone else to blame –  and to make pay – and the easiest target is the one who is different from all the rest… who is a different colour, has different beliefs or way of life, someone whose differences are perceived as posing a possible threat to general security and stability and therefore one who must be eliminated, when in reality we ultimately damage ourselves just as much, if not more, than the objects of our fear and self- distraction.

Lobbing rocks and items of furniture, torching cars and buildings, looting and destroying and attacking one’s fellow human beings is extreme, but the essence of the problem can be mirrored in something as simple as a careless judgemental comment or a throw away opinion. From everyday actions and emotions come many of the miseries of our world.

Gossip is no less dangerous and destructive, from when a simple fact becomes accidentally distorted and untrue, to purposefully poisonous lies.

Next time you catch yourself criticising someone, please stop and ask yourself how you are feeling. In reality, are you worried, frightened or concerned about another matter altogether, perhaps something about which you are powerless, and so it provides a temporary release to lash out at someone else – for a time it also takes the focus of attention away from you.

‘Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.’ Whoever first coined that particular children’s old playground chant obviously had absolutely no idea how wounding and painful a negative word can be. And it is not simply others who stand to feel the lash of our ill-considered tongues – we are all guilty of using hurtful language against ourselves: “I must be daft!” “You stupid fool!” “I’m such an idiot!” are all simple everyday types of judgement we hurl at ourselves, both in our thoughts and in actual spoken words, but they are no less wounding. Words have a life of their own and they do find their mark, especially when the target is ourself.

Perhaps we can all try to be more aware and vigilant about the language we use about ourselves and each other? Can we be more careful not to make assumptions, and to learn the truth from the people in question before we decide to go mouthing off, or taking to the streets (even metaphorically) in violent reaction?

“Careless talk costs lives” was an important catch phrase during the Second World War. For the pain we can cause ourselves and each other, and the power careless talk can have to incite and misinform, perhaps it is as relevant today as it was eighty years ago.

Be kind – to yourself and others – and try to think before you speak.

Lammas Greetings!

Time for the colours of the harvest and hot sunny days to creep into our home decoration – I just love it!

I would like to wish you all a very happy Lammas today, and for the coming days, weeks and months of harvesttime.

The word ‘Lammas’ originates from the Saxon for ‘loaf mass’, the special baking and consumption of the first loaf from the new grain harvest. This is a relatively new tradition which only evolved with the practice of agriculture and the  domestication of wheat and other grains a few thousand years ago. It is no less important to us now than it was then, and with the rapidly changing and volatile state of the weather around the world and the effect it is having on our environment, each and every harvest safely brought in is literally a triumph.

This year, certainly in the U.K., I have heard farmers worrying about the amount of rain that we have bee experiencing countrywide, the fact that they couldn’t get out onto the land to plant the seed and that when they did, it was rotting in the ground. Yields this year are predictably lower than usually expected and in previous centuries, this might have spelled widespread shortages and hunger. Nor can we rely on topping up our supplies by importing from other parts of the globe as everywhere is being effected in different but just as severe ways, either by manmade aggression and misuse or extremes of weather resulting from it.

So, when you eat some bread today, chew it well and really appreciate the taste, and the fact that you are lucky enough to have it on your plate. Give great thanks to the Earth which allows us to grow and harvest it in abundance. We are truly blessed. Send out some loving appreciation for what the land provides, and keep on acknowledging and sending out your thankfulness.

 

Straws in the Wind

Recently I visited our busy local village market where my husband and I decided to have lunch. Sitting at a table while he went to order it, I looked around me. I spotted a middle aged couple at the next table and was shocked when the fellow picked up his empty lunch plate and licked it clean.

Okay. Maybe I just come across as an old fuddy-duddy who is behind the times, but I cannot help thinking that it is the multiples of a lowering of standards that is helping to erode our personal moral fibre. Many previously accepted social strictures were unnecessary, ridiculous and frequently cruel, but there is surely such a thing as common decency – we are not animals eating at a trough.

When I was a child, one of my favourite films to watch was ‘Seven Brides for Seven Brothers’ in which a young bride returns home with her new backwoodsman husband and discovers that she will also have to look after his six younger brothers who descend on her decently set table and good home cooked food like ravenous wild animals. As a child I thought this was shockingly hilarious. However, in reality the veneer of civilization is remarkably thin and if left to its own devices, it is all too easy for humanity to return to its baser, animalistic ways… and yes, it can begin by something as simple as picking up one’s plate and licking it clean. It is the  ubiquitous thin end of the wedge.

I was much more deeply disturbed  when I returned home that same day and a young friend showed me a short clip on Facebook about how to crotchet. It showed a woman’s hands holding wool and a hook, demonstrating how to perform a simple treble crotchet stitch, but it was her running commentary which appalled me:

“Stab it hard. Push in the hook and pull out its guts. Twist it around and throw it aside…” and so on.

“It has been done to attract youngsters and make it seem more fun – not stuffy and boring.” my friend explained.

Fun?

Those are not the type of words I would have associated with the concept of having fun at any age. What message does this send out to our younger generations? our children? That harsh tones and violent words and acts are entertaining?

War is currently being waged in so many places around our globe. Tens of millions of people are displaced, homeless, facing starvation. In my own country, one in seven people now do not have enough to eat on a regular daily basis,  violence in the home and out on the street is rampant and the number of folk with mental health issues soars exponentially as we individually buckle under the strain of a society no longer fit for purpose.

These are the huge outward signs that greed, ego, aggression and a total disregard for life are shaping our world – such is the place that our level of ‘civilisation’ has brought us to.

But like anything else, we can immediately begin to turn the tide by using baby steps, inserting into our daily lives the small acts of kindness, compassion and support which, taken to their ultimate conclusion, lead to the ending of hostilities and violence, the cessation of war, and the opening up of a generous, accepting and interconnected society.

So, to lick a plate or not to lick a plate? that is the question.

To stab and disembowel your wool or to appreciatively guide it into harmoniously co-creating something functional as well as beautiful and useful?

Where do we stand? How do we perceive our world? How do we interpret it?

How do you?

And where do you choose to go from here?

 

 

 

 

 

Merry Midsummer!

As a child I was always confused by the Summer Solstice and Midsummer. One is a solar event and scientifically predicted and observed; the other is more nebulous and coincides with St. John’s Day (John the Baptist) a few days later on the 24th June. This then places the magical Midsummer’s Eve (that one and the same wild event as in the woodland shenanigans of Shakespeare’s ‘A Midsummer Night’s dream’) on the 23rd of the month… which is today.

I find it easier to understand the meaning of the dates and unfolding progression of the planets and the natural world around the time of the Winter Solstice, with the shortest day and longest night around the 21st December, followed by several days of dark stillness until the morning of the 25th December (Christmas Day) when the the Sun (or Son) is seen to be reborn and when the length of daylight might actually be measured as longer once more.

The same applies to Midsummer but in reverse: the Summer Solstice marks the time when the Sun is closest to the Earth and we experience the longest amount of daylight and the shortest amount of darkness – indeed, even in the United Kingdom if the sky is clear on this night, the sky never fully darkens at all.

Then we pass through several days when the literal meaning of the word Solstice (‘sun stands still’) becomes apparent as days and nights appear to remain the same length, before the days inexorably and measurably begin to grow shorter once more from the 24th June onwards. Just as the Sun is seen to be reborn a few days after the Winter Solstice and we anticipate the lighter half of the year, so on the 24th June, we begin to witness the reverse effects of this solar event and the Darkness is reborn once more as we turn our faces to the encroaching dark half of the year.

In some pagan circles, the two halves of the year are represented by the Oak King who rules from Midwinter and represents the Light, and his bother the Holly King, who ules from Midsummer and represents the Darkness.

The significance of the Light and Dark, Jesus and St. John, the Oak King and the Holly King celebrating these two pivotal occasions in out calendar are all too obvious. Whatever one’s beliefs or method of interpreting or explaining them, the fact remains that these solar events are absolutely key to the continuation of life on this planet and have been – and are still – celebrated by many people of all religious persuasions and beliefs around the globe from time immemorial.

The evening of the 23rd of June is Midsummer’s Eve. and mirrors the magic and sanctity of Mother’s Night which coincides with Christmas Eve at Midwinter.

This is one of those times during our year when the veils between the many levels of existence thins enabling us to peer through into other times and places, and, in this particular instance and most importantly, into what is to come… into what we would like to become our future… an opportunity not just to view it but to drift and dream and decide what we would like to create our future to be.

There are many myths and stories, beliefs and traditions associated with Midsummer’s Eve. It is a night populated by the Fae and the Faerie, and by all manner of beings from other dimensions who are temporarily able to engage with us – a time when you may appeal to and seek the assistance of such wondrous beings.

I shall show my respect for our local Tylwyth Teg by honouring them with some gifts – crusty home-baked bread, local honey fragrant with the scent of last summer’s flowers, creamy cheese, and the rich amber of whisky. these shall be served on fine porcelain and crystal on the front lawn under the holly tree at dusk.

Personally, I like to sit with the evening shadows in the cool of the garden, surrounded by the peaceful valley and silent mountains. A high place or the beach are also good places to tune into this magical night.

Wherever you are and whatever you are doing, I wish you a very merry Midsummer, and many wonderful things to come your way in the second half of your year!

 

Happy Easter!

Joyous greetings!

Easter is a good time to celebrate renewal. The egg has long been a symbol of rebirth and new beginnings… it signifies potential for the coming new seasons. This year, especially, when we are all finding life more challenging, difficult, problematical or just plain heavy, Easter provides a golden opportunity to mark the ending of the old order and a fresh start – literally a brave new world.

And don’t forget the Easter Bunny, who isn’t really a rabbit at all but originally a depiction of the magical hare, recognised the world over as the incarnate connection between humanity and the natural world, the quirky, tricksy, endearing messenger between the moon and the earth, the link between our ordinary everyday life and our spiritual existence, planting the seeds of new life (eggs) around our gardens and green spaces as the natural world bursts into buds and blossoms.

Whatever your religion or spiritual beliefs, cherish and enjoy this very special and sacred time.

From my home to yours, great good wishes for a very happy day!

 

Get Involved – Your Choice!

Easter and the Vernal Equinox are a time of new beginnings, of rebirth, regeneration and the upsurge of spring and the new cycle of the growing season… of the light, bright, active half f our year. Here is a gentle suggestion as to how we can all become involved in creating a new world truly fit for our children and grandchildren to inhabit.

(To work your way through this journey of deep love and understanding, you will have to suspend all judgement… this journey is not in criticism of all the peacekeeping work many armed forces undertake around the world… it is aimed at any human living on the planet who is currently engaged in nationally sponsored active violence. Nor does this journey involve forgiveness, for that also implies judgement and the taking of moral high ground on the part of the forgiver. No matter how difficult, try and stay with this journey to the end – I promise you that it will be worth it, both in how it might beneficially affect current hostilities, but even more so in how it will affect you yourself.

See a person standing in front of you… They are someone you know well and are close to – a brother, sister, friend. They are struggling with life’s ordinary challenges. Place your arm gently around their shoulders… Tell them that you trust them to do the right thing… and tenderly hold them in safety, understanding and love…

See a person, a man or woman, in front of you…

They are a soldier, and they are about to commit a violent act…

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Do It Today – Don’t Wait Until Tomorrow

All last year I watched in admiration as a friend underwent serious surgery and fought to regain general mobility and specifically the use of her arm.  All her friends marvelled at her tenacity and courage. Every time I saw her, we discussed how she was progressing and what new achievements she had accomplished. We laughed and hugged and aimed to remain very positive.

Last November, I saw her in the distance at a meeting but, unusually, I didn’t get to speak to her or share our usual long, warm, hug. It was a busy afternoon and there were lots of people requiring attention and it was only when I saw my friend disappearing out the door that I realised that, for once, I had missed her. My first instinct was to run after her and give her a big hug… but then, I have been experiencing problems with arthritis in my knee again this winter and realised that attempting to ‘run’ anywhere probably wasn’t such a good idea. After all, when I next saw her I would be able to give her a double hug and no damage done.

I never did see my friend again. She quickly became ill, was admitted to hospital and diagnosed with stage four cancer which had somehow managed to slip beneath the radar of all her other treatments and procedures.

She died in February.

The moral of this little story is obvious. Never put off ’til tomorrow what you can do today. In other words, don’t hold back… do it NOW! Give your hugs and love freely and generously – tell your dear ones how much you love them and convey it with your warm and welcoming embraces – or in any other way you can think of.

We can’t live every day as if it was our last, but we can fill every day with joy and gratitude for what we have in the here and now, and share our positive emotions with those we care about.

Think about it… with my love.

Peace in Our Time?

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I look out of my window; the sun is shining, the grass is regreening after winter, snowdrops, crocus and daffodils are all blooming simultaneously, birds are singing and spring is definitely on the way. The village is quiet and peaceful. Already, the first lock-down of the Covid pandemic is four years in the past; a global catastrophe which we have survived and many of us hoped would herald the dawn of a new, interconnected, co-operative, global community.

Yet, where do we find ourselves now? Russia and Ukraine are slogging out a multinational war by proxy and Israel is tasting what it is like to be the oppressors in its infliction of genocide upon the Palestinian people, while the rest of us struggle with our feelings of fear, impotence, sadness and horror. Worse, the sabre-rattling is spreading and the drums of all-out war are beginning to reverberate around the globe.

How do we deal with this? You and I, sitting in our safe cosy homes, what can we do to combat the fear, violence and misery?

I feel that the key word here is ‘fear’. We tend to fear what we do not know. Humanity has always reacted to the unknown with suspicion and blind aggression. However, there is a world of difference between personal ignorance and fear and the global woes generated by commerce and national governments for their own nefarious purposes.

When I was a child, I travelled quite a lot with my mother who was keen for me to learn about other peoples, places and cultures. Even as a young child, I loved writing letters and kept in touch with any children (and sometimes adults!) that I came across on my travels. Once I entered my teens I joined a penfriend organisation and developed relationships with other youngsters  around the world.

My personal connections completely coloured my perspective of and feelings for other nations. I first noticed this when watching the Eurovision Song Contest. I was more interested in the entries of other countries and didn’t care so much about how well the U.K. did so long as my pal’s countries were receiving recognition and appreciation too. It was no longer France but Jacqueline’s people, not Italy, but Domenico and his friends.

I developed friendships all across Europe into Eastern Europe, Greece, Turkey, North and South America, Sri Lanka and Hong Kong. It was huge fun and the whole family would wait with baited breath for the morning post to arrive and the next instalment of juvenile news from abroad.

By my mid teens, some of my penfriends were coming to stay with us in the school holidays and by the time I was in my late teens, it was not unusual to find boys and girls from several different nations sitting around our table. As these also covered widely disparate cultures and religions, my poor mother was sometimes hard put to accommodate and feed everyone without causing a minor diplomatic incident. Trust had to be worked at.

“Mummy! Julie has bacon for breakfast… did you cook my eggs in the same pan?”
“Now, Mehmet, you know I would never do such a thing,” my mother would reply patiently as she produced two separate frying pans from the kitchen.

Wenche from Norway was like a sister to me… Harsha from Sri Lanka was the peacemaker in everything… Kathleen from America thought that English boys were ‘perfectly obnoxious’ in their ‘good manners’ which she viewed as patronising and anti-feminist… but we all got on together and laughed and learned about each other – my slightly harassed father used to refer to us as the ‘United Nations’.

Amusingly, everyone referred to my parents as ‘Mummy’, and ‘Daddy’, and when we paid return visits, as many other people (especially in the East) found the ‘J’ of Joan difficult to get their tongues around, my mother was startled to discover that everyone else referred to her as ‘Mummy’ too! Even in my late forties, I would still take phone calls when the caller asked how ‘Mummy’ was, or receive letters where the writer asked if  ‘Daddy’ was still playing his drums in the dance band.

As I grew older I joined a larger penfriend community which for a single very reasonable fee offered sixteen potential penfriends in countries, ages and interests of my choice. (International Pen Friends https://www.ipfworld.com/index.html) Inevitably, more serious questions arose in our correspondence, especially when I began writing to a meteorologist in former East Germany who wished to improve his English… but I ended up marrying him so we obviously got that right!

The way I see it now, we have options.

One: that we reach out in any way possible and befriend/make a relationship with someone from another country(s). In this case, familiarity potentially breeds mutual fondness, knowledge, trust and support. It suddenly becomes personal and is no longer ‘me’ and ‘them’ but ‘us’.

Two: in our modern multicultural, multi-gender society, we strive to get to know our neighbours… the people who breath the same air, drink the same water, walk the same roads and sleep only metres away from us. They are our local community and by wider definition, their people and country/place of origin become ours, too. I have a very dear Nigerian friend living a mile away in the next village – now every Nigerian I see is a part of her, and her land and people are dear to me and matter because of my friendship and love for her. My heart goes out to her – and to them – I have ‘adopted’ them… and that relationship sticks.

Similarly, some of my neighbours come from other parts of the U.K. which I know nothing about, but I have ‘adopted’ them as well and they are also dear to me now. Having said that, I no less value and appreciate my next-door-neighbour who was born and bred in this valley, or the people up the road who also hale from the town where I was born.

I feel that I am in the right place here in Wales for this to be understood – a society where first names are always used rather than surnames and titles, everyone is seen as equal, and community connection is of paramount importance, only topped by the sacred act of hospitality to strangers… For, of course, once someone has lived with you, (no matter how briefly), eaten at your table, laughed with you, possibly shared their concerns and commiserated with you too, they are no longer strangers but also members of your wider family, and their people are no longer ‘aliens’ or ‘strangers’ either but extended family, brothers and sisters of your new-found family member. So our ‘family’ grows.

Yes, family members frequently disagree or fall out, but if they have also shared the good times and genuine friendship and respect has been previously developed, it makes it easier to find one’s way back to talking and sorting out the problems. You certainly stand a much better chance than if you have to deal with a total stranger, with no comprehension of their culture, their thoughts and feelings or perspective on life.

For the bottom line is that we are all connected, all one with each other and all a part of our planet Earth, we simply express our perception of life as befits our geographical area and the way we have developed in it. This need not lead to division and descension but can, instead, enrich the vitality, vibrancy and texture of our shared lives. The key words here are equality and love.

Think about it. Who is in your extended family? How do you interact with them? How might you bring these disparate members closer together? How might you reach out further afield?

Just my own thoughts on a sunny February afternoon… and I would love to hear your own thoughts and opinions, for we too, are connected and I care what you think and feel.

With my love.

 

“If I Ruled the World…”

Who remembers this popular song from the musical ‘Oliver’ back in the 1960’s? Harry Secombe belting out “Every day would be the first day of spring…”

What would you do if you ruled the world? Or even just your own little part of it? What is the first thing that you would do? How would you go about easing some of the worst injustices and difficulties of our society? How would you bring comfort and healing to our broken world and the suffering of the natural world all around the planet?

People are very quick to criticise those in government – to say that the mythical ‘they’ should magically do something about ‘it’, but I rarely hear any answers or practical suggestions being offered.

I think that the first thing I would do is declare each Monday to be weekly ‘Hug Each Other Day’ when everyone is encouraged to give lovely warm hugs. Now don’t laugh! It has been scientifically proved that the physical, mental and emotional benefits of a regular, prolonged, twenty second hug are quite staggering. Let’s boost the health of the entire nation by hugging!

Next, fair wages for all – a lot less for a few and a great deal more for many – and decent working hours and conditions for all – something which our forebears fought so hard to achieve and which, in our ‘enlightened’ Twenty-First Century society seems to have completed disintegrated.

I would organise communal facilities for people of all ages who wanted/needed them – especially meals, but possibly go on to include living accommodation and practical training as well. These would be run and maintained by volunteers from all sectors of society who would be awarded points for each job (the more unpleasant or arduous, the more points) which could then be exchanged for money or other benefits. The doors of these centres would be open to all and if more facilities were required, the community would come together to organise and/or build it, using public money and resources. There would be no need for anyone to be on the streets or sitting alone at home in isolated loneliness or desperation.

I am not suggesting a communist state, just accepted and widespread facilities where everyone could go and be accepted, receive what they need, give what they can.

There would be few laws, just encouragement, rewards, and bonuses.

Wrong-doers would be helped, healed and remain as useful members of society.

How about a national day of ‘Unconditional Love’? I think we’d have at least two a month of those. Any suggestions as to how it could be put into active practice?

Of course, I am being a bit silly! Or am I?

We certainly can’t continue as we are at present.

And if we heal ourselves, both individually and collectively, we will also be in a much better position to treat everything else around us with kindness and consideration. We can integrate a policy of walking more lightly on the land, of working with nature not against it, of practices which harmonise with the rest of the world rather than conflict.

Pie in the sky? Really? Why can’t we change things for the better and do it differently? Are we really all so set in our ways, so uncaring, selfish or just plain scared that we daren’t even consider a new order? And we have to do something. Life on this planet cannot go on as it is – we all know that.

Rather, this is a golden opportunity to take life and do something amazing with it. We can all begin now, today. Light a candle in the metaphorical darkness and bring some love and goodwill into the life around you.

So, if I ruled the world, Monday – today – would definitely be the weekly ‘Hug Day’… so please hug as many people as you can today and see what a difference it makes already.!

What would you do?

The Joy of January

love January! Yes, Midwinter/Christmas is past, but this month has SO much to offer.

It is the very fact that the winter holidays are over that makes this month so special. Clear rooms, empty of all the seasonal colour and clutter. A clear garden/natural world as vegetation has died away and animals are sheltering, sleeping. A clear diary with no long lists of social commitments. In fact, a gloriously blank canvas on which to indulge in spontaneous activity! What could be better? many of us spent most of November and December bemoaning the fact that we hadn’t enough time… well, now we have!

I like to spend this blessedly still time after Christmas resting, contemplating the year to come and planning my goals and wishes with which I want to fill it.

I love the weather: drab, washed out, dark and wet enough to justify curling up indoors, providing breathing space, or brilliantly clear, sunny and cold with the beauty which frost and snow can mantle the land.

We have removed most of our Midwinter decorations but candles are still favoured and white lights now illuminate jugs of greenery and dark windows.

These days are spent in early spring cleaning, sorting, clearing, bringing into order before the longer, lighter days call us away. Evenings are time for shared discussion, listening to or watching programmes or podcasts, music and games, or quiet reading and the little projects our hands were too busy for in the past few months.

This is also a time for looking forward; for dreaming and decoding how to bring those dreams into being

Think about it. Don’t waste these precious ’empty’ days merely wishing them gone; use them, fill them, enjoy them.

A very happy January to you all!

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