The kindness and support I have received from friends, family, acquaintances and medical staff alike over the past few weeks has been a constant source of delight, wonder and amazement to me.
For those of you following me on this journey, I did indeed manage to lower my blood pressure sufficiently and my operation at Glan Clwyd hospital went ahead as planned.
That was on Monday, 20th September. I returned home the same afternoon, totally as high as a kite on the after-effects of the anaesthesia. After napping for three hours, I was then awake for twenty-five hours, planning my future, mapping out my winter and spring work schedule, even designing the cover of my next book and bopping around my bedroom in the golden autumn sunshine to the strains of favourite pop music from my young years back in the ’70’s.
Then I worked for three days over the weekend – admittedly at a slower, more considered rate… and then went down with a throat infection which has made me feel vulnerable and miserable with a stiff swollen neck, rough throat and cough. I hold my hands up. I should have paced myself better. Mea culpa. Happy days!
Yesterday, I attended a consultation with my specialist at Ysbyty Gwynedd. The cancer has been successfully removed. None of the lymph nodes also removed during the operation had been in the least affected. All clear. Celebration!!!
But. There always has to be one, doesn’t there? There must always be some ‘governor’, criteria to steady and balance and help to slot everything into perspective. Mine, now, is that the cancer might still be lurking around and in my system somewhere, ready to dive in and stir up my life all over again when I least expect it.
I had already been informed that I would have to take medication – in the form of tablets – each day for the next five years, also take a course of radiotherapy, have regular yearly check-ups and mammograms. Now my consultant is advising me about the efficacy and wisdom of that other emotionally loaded little ‘c’ word… chemotherapy.
Some forms of breast cancer respond very well to chemo and shrivel and die at the mere suggestion. Others are completely unaffected by it. To discover which category my little ‘visitor’ falls into, some of the cancerous cells have now been dispatched, post haste, to a laboratory in California.
It will be about two months before any further treatment of the nasty invasive kind can take place. My task at present is to recover my health and strength.
In the meantime, I have other tasks to fulfil on other levels.
My heart goes out to all the many people who are currently undergoing or have in the past gone through the painful transformational challenges of ill health. It is tough in the extreme. Personally, I have learned to bless my physical body and the varying state of my health. It is a great guide, an all-knowing teacher and a source of wonderful experience and opportunity.
Right now, I have a great deal to process and work through on many levels, so none of you – even my nearest and dearest – might hear anything from me for a few weeks. I am absolutely fine, but I ask that you understand that I need this time and space – please do not take offense. I love you all dearly – and yes, that applies just as much to the reader who has only just discovered my blogs as it does to my closest friend and is not said lightly or glibly but felt deeply and sincerely by me. Love and gratitude – along with the inevitable accompanying sense of joy – is what my private, inner philosophy is based on.
You might come across me sat alone at the beach, or somewhere along a woodland path or out on the mountain side, but I shall be in deep communication with all that is around me and with all that is buried deep within me. I shall be full of love and joy. Rest assured that everything is just as it should be with me.
I might even post a few blogs during that time – I have some ideas which I would love to share with you all.
In the meantime, a huge ‘thank you’ to you ALL for your loving support. It is also incredibly humbling. I have verily floated on a warm sea of good will and loving wishes and it has been such a massively beneficial part of my experience recently – I cannot convey just to what degree I feel wonderfully blessed by you all.
With my love.
Comforting and inspiring – seasonal poems, recipes, craft and gardening projects, celebrations, festivals and bits of history dotted among tales of modern life in Wales and an unusual childhood in 1960’s Lancashire. Read from cover to cover or dip into as the fancy takes you. An uplifting new approach to spring with timeless humour, poignancy and wisdom. Just what is needed to combat late winter blues and the challenges of Covid.
I am offering the January module in the on-line digital cycle of Walking With The Goddess for free. It is my wholehearted gift to all those who might wish to complete or newly begin this exciting adventure. As the years turn and the 2020 cycle reaches its conclusion and the 2021 cycle just begins, this month appropriately features the goddess, Arianrhod, weaver of cosmic time and fate, who will help us to birth a new and better future. It also includes Dwynwen, patroness of lovers, who’s special day is celebrated at the end of January and who will help us to further develop our own capacity for unconditional love.
Around the turn of the millennium my family and I joined in with Operation Christmas Child, originated by a couple in Wrexham and eventually taken over by the charity Samaritan’s Purse. The whole concept is to decorate and fill a shoebox with suitable items for a child between the ages of 2-4, 5 – 10, or 11 – 14. Ideally the contents are a mixture of school items, toiletries and toys, destined for youngsters in war-torn zones or natural disaster areas… little ones who might have lost everything or have very little.
On the 30th September, my dear friend and fellow author, Ali Sinclair, has her first book, ‘Dementia Diary; A love story to the end’ published by Herbary Books.
Greetings !
June is here! A gorgeously inspiring month of flowers, light and beauty. With it comes a new module of Walking With The Goddess inviting you to blend and meld with the natural potency and energy of the Sun as we approach Midsummer, to experience a wondrously joyful dance with the Lady of Flowers, and to harmonise your wisdom and channels of connection with the Owl Goddess, Blodeuwedd.
