March 2025 - Gillian Monks

Today I came across a post on Facebook entitled ‘Advice to Girls’. I won’t name the author but I presume they are an ‘influencer’ of young minds and behaviour.

I am well aware that for far too long, women have been treated outrageously, cruelly, and totally inappropriately – usually by men, but also sometimes by other women.

I heartily applaud the courage and stamina of so many women who have in the past, and continue today, to stand up for equal rights, and who work to expose society’s skewed perception of the feminine.

However, in the response to male chauvinism, some females – specially the younger ones – have apparently fallen into the habit of behaving just like the rude, crude, violent, unintelligent and chauvinistic men they are rebelling against.

In this particular Facebook post, girls are advised, among other things, to be ‘loud’, ‘gross’, ‘snide and sarcastic’. What kind of advice is that? And what kind of a world will our youngsters create if they follow this advice? Apart from anything else, it will only serve to vindicate men’s opinion of women as being self-centred and brainless.

COME ON GIRLS – I EXPECT MUCH BETTER FROM YOU!

Our youngsters – of ALL genders – are our flagship – on them depends so much for a better future. It made me stop and think very deeply about the advice I would give to my own daughter – perhaps anyone reading this could help me out here – making my message more compact and all-encompassing – refining it – but in reading it, you will get my drift. (See below.)

Your thoughts and comments (if polite!) are warmly welcomed.

‘Make yourself what you want to be, and be comfortable and confident about who you are.
Respectfully expect the world to accept you on your terms – settle for nothing less.
You are unique, honoured and loved, with unique experiences and gifts.
Behave to others as you would like them to treat you.
Show that you are a person of strength, dignity, compassion and wisdom.
Allow your kindness to speak for you.
Be courageous. Be steadfast. Be your own person.
Let the way you live speak for you.
Be quietly assertive and truthful, but if you are met with derision and aggression, speak out loud and clear – enlist the support of others – stand firm.
Know when to say ‘No’, and stick to it.
Do not behave badly because everyone around you is acting out that way.
In all you say, do and are, be worthy of your own approval.’

We all had a terrific time last week at the Saint David’s Day Festival and Book Fair down by Bangor Pier. The weather was amazing – clear skies and warm sunshine (I even ended up with a touch of sunburn!), with lots of people out to celebrate our country’s patron saint and well-known son, and our joy and unity in living in Wales.

There were lots of activities and stands, but the main focus was on the central stage where a stream of performers kept us entertained throughout the day, including choirs, musicians, singers and Indian dancers. I was particularly struck by the poignancy of the small Ukrainian choir (dressed in their gorgeously colourful costumes) who sang their hearts out for their beloved homeland to their host nation who were also particularly focused on celebrating their much loved home country that day.

At the end of their performance, I simply couldn’t stop myself from going over to thank them. I tapped one lady on the shoulder and thanked her – she looked bewildered, didn’t speak any English – so I hugged her instead. Words so frequently get in the way of true communication. As we gazed into each other’s eyes we exchanged a look of deep and complete mutual understanding. Perhaps some of these international conferences should abolish speaking and simply have the delegates go around hugging each other, sitting holding hands and gazing into each other’s eyes. We might all be amazed at what we learn about each other and what we can agree on.

Personally, I was delighted to finally meet fellow author, Patricia Wynne, who’s first book, ‘To Light a Penny Candle’ I have adored since I first read it at the pre-publication editing stage. It is a story about a journey to find oneself – quite literally – and the people the main character comes across who heart-warmingly provide the support and directions she requires – I can thoroughly recommend it!

And then there was the opportunity to meet some of my readers and hear their first hand opinions of my work so far – all complimentary, I hasten to add – but very humbling and heartening to a solitary author!

Later in the afternoon, I decided to take a break and have a walk down the 1500 foot long pier. The sea breezes were refreshing and the view of the snow-capped Gwynedd mountains against a deep blue sky were quite breath-taking. How lucky I am to live in such a beautiful place – but then the whole Earth is simply stunning and we all quite rightly feel that we live in the best bit of it!

Lastly, I looked at my stall displaying five of my six books published to date, and felt totally amazed that I had written them all. It is quite besides the point that I currently have five more books in various stages of completion! (Yes, I owe you all a newsletter and have much to share with you!!!)

For now, all I can say is that my health is better than it was in the winter and I am happily been twirled along by my various excitable muses and cannot work fast enough!

Watch this space!