Gillian Monks

One of my favourite summer harvests – these sweetpeas smell divine!

A few days ago, we celebrated Lammas, (or as some call it, Lughnasa). This is the time of the first main harvest of the year, which are the grains: wheat, rye, oats, etc..

Traditionally, it has always been a time for communities to pause in their busy long-days-of-sunlight summer lives and come together. While the weather is more reasonable, many would travel distances to join with loved ones not often seen during the rest of the year, to feast while food was fresh and plentiful, and to compete in games of strength and skill in an atmosphere of amiable competition. It was a golden opportunity to conduct many business meetings, strike deals, make agreements, reach compromises and understandings, and also celebrate marriages.

On reflection, perhaps we still haven’t moved so very far away from this arrangement, only now we operate at a national or global level, rather than in an intimate local society. The beginning of August is the peak time for people to go away on holiday… there are numerous festivals and events at this time of year, many countries have recently held their political elections, and right now the greatest sporting event on earth is taking place in the form of the Olympic Games in Paris. Think about it. Over all, we are still following the old pattern of behaviour based on the seasons and rhythms of the natural world.

For me personally, it is the opportunity to come together, to catch up, to spend time and to celebrate on-going life… and to talk to one another… to exchange news, chew the fat and discuss the state of the world. Showing an interest in one another is laudable; learning about people from different cultures and with different approaches to life is admirable, but it needs to be done sympathetically in a spirit of genuine kindness and compassion, with a good measure of tolerance and as complete a lack of judgement and bias as possible. It is too easy to learn half (or even a fraction) of a tale and then jump to conclusions, and to react with arrogance from a place of false and ignorant superiority.

While my family and friends gathered under a clear blue sky in the sunshine and deep peace on our land on the far western peninsular of the Llyn, folk in many towns and cities chose to take to the streets to protest and display their displeasure… also their crippling insecurities, frustration and impotence.  Doubtless, they chatted on all the various forms of social media available and used increasingly stirring and inflammatory language as they spurred each other on to turn on their fellow human beings – unwitting and innocent targets – scapegoats on which some deeply damaged and broken members of our society decided to vent their own agony.

For we only tend to be mean or hurtful when we are unhappy or frightened. It is an unfortunate but basic human trait. Something goes wrong in our lives and we frantically cast about for someone else to blame –  and to make pay – and the easiest target is the one who is different from all the rest… who is a different colour, has different beliefs or way of life, someone whose differences are perceived as posing a possible threat to general security and stability and therefore one who must be eliminated, when in reality we ultimately damage ourselves just as much, if not more, than the objects of our fear and self- distraction.

Lobbing rocks and items of furniture, torching cars and buildings, looting and destroying and attacking one’s fellow human beings is extreme, but the essence of the problem can be mirrored in something as simple as a careless judgemental comment or a throw away opinion. From everyday actions and emotions come many of the miseries of our world.

Gossip is no less dangerous and destructive, from when a simple fact becomes accidentally distorted and untrue, to purposefully poisonous lies.

Next time you catch yourself criticising someone, please stop and ask yourself how you are feeling. In reality, are you worried, frightened or concerned about another matter altogether, perhaps something about which you are powerless, and so it provides a temporary release to lash out at someone else – for a time it also takes the focus of attention away from you.

‘Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.’ Whoever first coined that particular children’s old playground chant obviously had absolutely no idea how wounding and painful a negative word can be. And it is not simply others who stand to feel the lash of our ill-considered tongues – we are all guilty of using hurtful language against ourselves: “I must be daft!” “You stupid fool!” “I’m such an idiot!” are all simple everyday types of judgement we hurl at ourselves, both in our thoughts and in actual spoken words, but they are no less wounding. Words have a life of their own and they do find their mark, especially when the target is ourself.

Perhaps we can all try to be more aware and vigilant about the language we use about ourselves and each other? Can we be more careful not to make assumptions, and to learn the truth from the people in question before we decide to go mouthing off, or taking to the streets (even metaphorically) in violent reaction?

“Careless talk costs lives” was an important catch phrase during the Second World War. For the pain we can cause ourselves and each other, and the power careless talk can have to incite and misinform, perhaps it is as relevant today as it was eighty years ago.

Be kind – to yourself and others – and try to think before you speak.